Today I Told My Mom She Can Never Die

And I meant it. I laid it on the line for her. She and my dad are never to die. That’s that. End of story.

I stopped over at her house for a beer and some chit-chat and we started discussing getting older, and loosing parents, and grandparents. She looked me right in the eye and said “losing your parents is one of the worst things ever. I think about it everyday.”

My father’s father passed away when I was very young, but I watched my mom lose both of her parents in the span of one year, and it was heart wrenching. My grandmother died of skin cancer and my grandfather died shortly after of a broken heart. And their deaths were so hard for my mom. It broke my heart to watch. I was incredibly sad about the loss of my grandparents-I loved them like crazy, but my heart actually hurt watching my mother in such pain and sadness.

I thought it then, and I still think it now. My parents can’t ever die. I just won’t allow it. Nope. And I told her, its gotta happen eventually, science will step up and find an everlasting life serum, and since I’m most likely to be the child in charge of my parents (sorry Molly and Charlie) I’m going to make the decision and say “pump my parents full of it.” My mom sort of laughed me off like “you silly girl.” But I’m absolutely certain that I would be entirely selfish and would want to prolong their lives for as long as possible solely so I don’t ever have to go through the pain of losing them.

I think about it sometimes. What I would do if either of my parents passed away. It sounds slightly morbid, but after watching your parent lose their parent, the “what ifs” are bound to cross your mind. When I think of losing my parents I can’t breathe. I panic to the point of losing all sense. The weight of just the thought of my parents passing away, eventually, threatens to crush me, and I can’t have it on my mind for more than a moment or two before I begin to come unraveled.

I honestly don’t know what I would do with out either of them. My mother is my best friend. She’s just like me only happier, nicer, and more energetic at all times. She always wants everyone to “have a great day!” She is genuinely one of the best people I know, and I can’t imagine my life with out her. My father is my protector, and always has been. For a quiet guy (at least he’s quiet compared to my mother) he’s got a wild sense of humor, and I know I can always, always rely on him.

I’v experienced loss in my life, as everyone has, and I know that in time the pain dulls and the wound heals. But I am completely convinced that the loss of my parents is one I couldn’t recover from. They’re my parents. I’m their child. They gave me life, and a pretty darn good one at that. The older I grow, the closer we get.

I will never be too grown up that I won’t need my parents in my life. I am so incredibly fortunate to have them-I mean it when I say they truly are the best parents in the world. Sorry if you think yours are better, but I mean, you haven’t met mine. I love them to the point that I don’t think I could survive with out them. So mom and dad, if you’re reading this (and as you’re my two most dedicated readers-after I peer pressured dad into following my-I’m sure you are), I love you, I mean it, and you can’t die ever. I’m serious!

Thanks for reading, and I promise the snarky Whitney will return tomorrow and this melancholy mood will be long gone. XO

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12 thoughts on “Today I Told My Mom She Can Never Die

  1. Love your thoughts! I feel the same way. I just lost my grandmother (88 yrs young) to ovarian cancer. She was given 3 wks in July but clearly she had other plans. She passed away 1-11-12 and only the last 6 days of her life were in Hospice. Morbid as it seems, it was incredibly healing to have our entire family (there is a ton of us) by her side. We were all with her when she took her final breath. Amazing though she did it when no one was in the room. It was the first time we left her alone. I saw the sadness on my mothers and aunts and uncles face. They just wanted her back so bad. I miss her dearly but I know what you mean, it hurts to see our parents go through that loss. It is also hard because I had to explain to my three young boys that nonnee nonnee went to heaven. I am so glad they got to meet and spend so much time with their great grandmother. Still breaks my heart. Okay now that I just vented (u had to expect it though) I will pay top $$$ for some of that serum! Count me in! Here’s to a long and healthy life for our parents and never taking our time with them for granted! Thanks for sharing!

    • I am so sorry for your loss, and vents are always welcome here! I absolutely try to take advantage of all the time I have with my wonderful parents, here’s to hoping I have a lot left with them!

  2. I lost my dad 3 years ago, and seriously, time dulls the pain but it never goes away. There’s no other way to say this: it sucks. If that serum was around a few years ago, I totally woulda had the docs use it! about 10 years back, I actually couldn’t remember how old my mom was turning on her birthday, so I just made up an age for her. So my mom has been 42 for the past 10 years or so. πŸ˜‰ She loves it! lol We just have to appreciate people while we have them, and learn to love as best we can ❀ Thanks for the post today! ❀

    • I know! My mom told me that under no circumstances am I to pump them full of that serum hahah, but I just can’t help it! I want to keep them forever! Is that so wrong? I’m so sorry for the loss of your father, and thanks for stopping by!

  3. When my mother-in-law died, I began preparing myself for my parents to go. But, you know, there is just no preparing for it. I found that out when my dad died nearly 5 years ago. We didn’t even really have a good relationship either (wayyyyy to much alike), but it was still a huge loss and still hurt. My mom will be 80 in June. She has Alzheimer’s, so I am losing her slowly before I actually physically lose her. I don’t mean to make this all about me (haha), but just to let you know that you may think you won’t be able to handle it, but you will be able to. It won’t be easy, and it will suck, but it will get easier. And hopefully you won’t have to deal with it for a very very long time. πŸ™‚

  4. I lost my grandfather ( my dad’s father) a couple of years back, its been hard seeing my grandmother deteriate so much after that loss, i’m alittle afraid her time will come soon too 😦

    I wish I had the relationship with my parents, the same as you do with yours, I was actually on the phone to my mother tonight and a very similar topic came up… I sort of half joked that if they were to become grumpy old people, like my mother’s father that I would put her in a nursing home… I know that sounds mean.. but if you knew my grandfather from that side of the family, you might understand how I feel about this.

    • I’m so fortunate to have such a great relationship with my parents-but it certainly wasn’t always that way-I was an absolute terror in middle school! We fought constantly, I was horrible.

      My mom and I always joke about putting my parents in a home, she says as long as they change her diapers and serve bud light she’ll be happy πŸ™‚

  5. Lovely blog. I feel the same way about my folks. Even your description of the differences between your mom and dad are similar to mine. I’m so thankful my husband loves them as much as he can without being their actual child. I am an only child and I can’t help but realize that I will be alone in my pain from losing them, because, though so many others love them, no one can understand how much I do. Thanks for making me feel a little less alone with those thoughts though.

    • I’m so glad you found this blog and connect! I’m lucky to have a brother and sister to help, but you sound so fortunate to have such a great husband who loves your family so much! xo

  6. Umm…my mom and I had this conversation last night as well! I was crying (big shocker I know!). I completely agree… I told her they at least need to live to like 110. I feel the exact same way that it is a totally crushing and overwhelming thought… like I really would never be able to recover from it. Glad to know we feel the same way! πŸ™‚

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